Why not settle on a choice?


Where do all the memories go when we have forgotten them? Do they just blur away? Do they ever come back? I wouldn’t know the feeling, I remember everything about you,us. Oh, if I  could make them dissapair. I want to recover from the entire heartbreak I have related to you, the fact of the matter is I am not by any means beyond any doubt I can. 

Your promises are in my mind, like a permanent tattoo, if only I could erase them. Remember when I asked you not to hurt me, as I have been hurt before? Remember how sure you were that it will be impossible for us to be apart? Do our memories hunt you in your darkest nights? Everytime I see you, you look cold. Distant. As you have been able to throw our memories away with a solitary breath. 

Don’t you have regrets, as I do?  You always seem to be consistent. Everytime we get in contact, you give me hope, you play it in front of me for whatever length of time that you need,knowing I might actually fall for it. Because you know me, you know my weaknesses for you. You know how hard is for me to resist to my own heart, my own feelings. Why play it for so long?  Why aren’t you prepared to settle on a choice? To discharge me from the nightmare I am caught on?

Embracing the idea of not having you hurts,  what hurts more, is your incompetency of choosing what you really want to do. I played my cards, told you whatever I felt, every strength, every weakness. You had access to my naked soul, so please,  have the goodness to secure it, as you had everything on your palm, and chosen to discard it.

Is she the one?

I fought for what I thought its called ” love”. And I know how wrong I was, knowing you are just an illusion that keeps coming back, hunting our memories. There is nothing I could do in regards of what we shared, and no matter how hard it is, the love I feel for you, was and will always be unconditional. Faith? No. I call it a child’s dream to happiness. Just because I always wanted you, does not mean I will ever stay in a relationship that keeps hurting me. 

Remember the old good days, when we used to share our dreams? Hoping that one day, they will become reality? Remember how you used to kiss me for hours, saying that nobody will take my place? That I am the only one that can rest her head on your shoulder, knowing you could always act as my ” guardian angel”? Well, I remember, and I could not imagine sharing my deepest nightmares with anyone else, but you. 

Is not as I never tried to stay away. Is like something keeps pulling me towards you. I feel reckless coming back to the same human being that hurt me on a regular basis, everytime I tried to get close. I feel like a child that is being told something is wrong, but keeps doing it because it feels good. I am aware I have no right to get involved in your present life. I know. You moved on, you are probably happy, more than I have ever been able to make you. Is she better? Is she the one? Is she the person that dries out the sweat of your nightmares on the middle of the night? Can she fulfill your needs as I used to? If the answer to all this is positive, I truly hope you will be happy. I hope you will remember our good moments, and cherish what you have with her. I hope you prove your love to her, unconditionally, repetitively. Maybe she deserves it, because there is one thing I am sure of; you deserve to be happy, even if not by my side. Be happy.
With simpathy,

Someone that will always love you

Until the end of time


Simply one more day, without knowing your whereabouts. As you may know, you’ve been maintained a strategic distance from my messages of late. Abruptly, you choose to appear at my entryway, with no notice. That is the means by which I understood, it’s not over yet. My heart won’t quit beating for you, since I have not seen you for as far back as four years. However, here you are, and I gradually feel the Universe  has something arranged with us.  Coincidence?Unadulterated uncontrolled love? Who knows? For whatever length of time that you are here, I am not intrigued on how it happened, I am intrigued on to what extent you will remain. 
Along these lines, take a seat, drink your coffee, and tune in. It’s been a long time since I looked in your eyes. Four years, since I attempted to let you know; for me, it’s not over. Keep in mind our fantasies? Since I do. We used to dream about our home, with a view to the shoreline. We both know how associated we are with the sea. Keep in mind how we guaranteed we will hang on? We used to state our love was “unnconditional” and it was. At any rate from my perspective. As I generally gave you everything. You had my heart giftwrapped on a plate. With no dread, lament or uncertainty.

Where did we turn out badly? Unmistakably, there more likely than not been something. Perhaps we were excessively youthful, making it impossible to trust our love will last. Perhaps, our ways should go separated, so we comprehend we have a place together. Who knows? 

Here we are, years after the fact. Eye to eye, frightful to state something that could turn out off-base. There is nothing that could turn out badly, not on the off chance that you remain. Pause for a moment and appreciate this minute. Don’t you wish it could keep going forever? Envision how upbeat we can live. We would have what to tell our grandchildren; adolescence cherish, rejoined forever. Or, on the other hand possibly we can show them how to dependably hold tight, how to take after their fantasies, and have trust. In the event that this is the thing that you wish, remain. Try not to relinquish me, as I let go of you years back. Fight, let me know we are on the same path,in the event that you do, I’ll remain with you. Until the end of time.

Tonight it’s about you.

 

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We began as two youngsters that needed their own particular tall tale. I should admit, it was supernatural. Each look, each touch, each inclination. Whatever we had, I am sure I will never have it with any other person. We grew up, and time is the just a single to fault. Possibly we met at the wrong time of our lives. Gracious, however I’m appreciative we had it. You showed me what butterflies felt like, you showed me how a kiss, can raise me to paradise. Regardless I miss that. You showed me not to offer up, to battle for my fantasies, regardless of how hard it gets. What’s more, I know whatever will happen, I will dependably have your source of genuine sympathy.

Do you recollect how we envisioned it all? Our little house, confronting the coastline. Two children, and an existence in front of us. Just us, together. For eternity. A long time later, we are adults, wrinkled by the day by day issues we needed to confront separated from each other. Tired of lying that we are content with what we have, glad separated. An investigate your eyes, and I could see my reality there. It’s all of a sudden about you, over and over..

A glass of red wine, from the year we dated touches my lips, and I’m helped to remember you, once more. The essence of it, helps me to remember your spirit, and I am not prepared to take the principal taste. You were constantly prepared to brighten me up, constantly strong, constantly careful with what I have been through. Also, reveal to me now, why did we surrendered?

They say the spirit is cheerful, when there is love. At that point I figure, my spirit felt joy when I had you.A tear drops on my cheek and I begin to shudder. Each memory of you, is vitally held, and prized.

I envision you here, by me, and I know you won’t have any desire to see my crying. In this way, I choose to wipe my tears and proceed onward. I need my cover up all over by the morning, prepared to experience one more day without you. Yet, tonight it was about you.

 

 

 

The good man can’t be kept, the wrong man is not worth keeping.

 

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What does a woman have to do to  keep the good man? The answer is simple; nothing. He cannot be kept. He will choose to stay, no matter what you are doing to keep him in your life. If he is meant to be, he will be. The problem is with the wrong man. Is he worth keeping? Does he deserve all the efforts you are ready to take in order to satisfy his needs? The answer could be no. If he wants you to go above and beyond yourself in order to make him happy, every day, he is not worth it.If he is not ready to take a commitment, and lacks in understanding stop wasting your time. He might keep you away from the one that really needs you, needs you efforts. The one who has the ability to fulfil you, to give you the sense of belonging.

Because, lady, you need to be sure of one thing: YOU DESERVE THE BEST. You deserve someone that allows you to be yourself, without any masks on. You deserve someone that will love you at your 3 a.m. craziness, someone that allows you to wear your demons with pride, and tries to help you fight with them. That is the one worth keeping. The one that is worth fighting for.

On the other hand, don’t you ever try to chase the wrong man. Stop trying to look for reasons to keep him in your life. If he does not want you there, leave. You should not try to fight for a spot in his life.  The good man can’t be kept, the wrong man is not worth keeping.

10 Reasons why I would have loved you better.

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It all started as a love story between two innocent children.  We didn’t even know what love was about; or how a relationship is built. We started with baby steps, that kind of innocent love from your teen period. A relationship from which you don’t have too many expectations,however, you hope it never ends. That was all about our love; we wanted it forever.

As we grew up, our visions stared to be different; too different I guess. Our life goals were changed, dreams were bigger and they were not achievable in the position we were. So, life separated us, after a blissful period. We improved each other’s views and I will always be thankful because I had you by my side, no matter what.  The question I keep asking myself lately, is what would I do in order to love you better than all the lovers you had after me?

  1. I would have supported your dreams no-matter what; You know I believe in you, I believe in your passions and I always admired your dedication and love towards what you are doing.
  2. I would have been the lover that waits for you to comeback in the middle of night, after you have failed at something; being there would have been a shot I would have taken, if I only knew that my presence will make you feel better; If I knew that you can be motivated to keep your head up after every failure you have ever faced.
  3. I would have been the shoulder you could always cry on; the one that can help you turn your weaknesses into strengths.
  4. I would have been the one that shows her love unconditionally; the one by your side whenever you needed it; whether if it was when you did not had a penny in your pockets, whether if it was after you decided to move away from your parent’s house, or whether the one that you needed to hear funny jokes from, in the middle of the nights in which you did not even hoped to smile.
  5. I would have loved you for all the truth you made me see in this world.
  6. I would have loved you  better than the ones that came after me; because I always had a connection with you; which I don’t see to be able to help it…after all this time.
  7. I would have loved you better for the person you became; and I would have appreciated every fall you took,because you always raised and improved on yourself; you never gave up, no matter how hard it was. and I still love this about you; You always fought!
  8. I would have loved you at 3 a.m in the morning, when you are lost in your thoughts and feel like nothing makes sense.
  9. I would have loved  you for the effort you put to build me a stronger woman.
  10.  I would have loved you better for the way you are passionate about God and His ways. And because of the way you turned myself into trusting Him again.

I know it’s late, but this is why I would have loved you better. You are perfect to me. Although time changed us, I am happy that I lost a lover, but I gained a best friend for life. Someone I could always count on. I may not have been able to love you stronger as a lover; but as a best friend, I love you the most!

 

 

One touch

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That’s what I needed. A sense of having you around. Forever, next to me. I felt the need of your fingers running through my body.  I needed the feeling of being home. Something you could never give me. Stability, the sense of belonging. Was I a caprice?  Was I something disposable? I always thought you don’t give up on someone you love. It seems we both have different views about that.

I often think about you like a mystery. I never knew too much about you. I’ve never been able to figure out your next move. This is what costed me in the end. As you left me empty, with a feeling of disguise. It’s the one moment when you believe in yourself, you built up an idea, a vision of a future with someone, and within seconds, he’s gone. That’s what I felt. I know no-one else will see me the way you saw myself. I will make sure nobody will ever be able to see through my real feelings. In front of you, I feel naked of my thoughts, of my weaknesses, and I don’t seem to be able to help it in any way.

Hopefully, in time, I will be able to look at you without any feelings, without any regrets. Hate was never an option, it will be impossible for me to hate a human being that showed me what love felt like. You were the person that held my heart in his hand, and didn’t know what to with it, so you decided to let down. All of a sudden. My path only goes one way now. Without any disruption from you again. You never had any deserving of me.And I am happy because I have finally been able to see through the real you; a ghost of the past.