Letting time go, hurts. Sometimes it kills more than alcohol or cigarettes. They kill in years, you kill me even faster. Having your heart broken is the easiest part, deciding to move on, or if you can forgive, is the real challenge.
Standing next to the window, in the middle of the night. Remembering the moments we used to be together, making plans, dreaming about our future. Everything was real between us, no secrets, not a single lie. Something changed you. Love does not define you anymore. It feels like I have a stranger standing next to me. Feeding me with lies, breathing into my ear . My heart is so tired of you. Tired of beating for a liar. Not a single promise you did not break recently. Helped me to forget your mistakes,before you made new ones. It feels like a vicious circle I am stuck in.
It seems to me love is a drug. It makes you feel good, it allows you to dream and it gives you the entire zoo into the stomach, but when you wake up, reality hits. Love can be sweet, but what do we do when it becomes bittersweet? This balance between letting go or hanging on. The flashbacks of your kisses on my neck. Memories of your angelic face,smiling, lighting the room like the moon lightens the sky. The idea that you might be a fantasy.I fed myself with dreams, to stay alive and I almost killed myself.
4 a.m already, and I still think about what to do. My parents taught me not to give up. But what should I do when I cannot hang on? Time does not always heal, sometimes it just teaches us how to live with pain. Being with you is not easy, but is the kind of hell I would go through to see you happy. Love is seeing the other one happy, no matter how much it hurts yourself, right?