You don’t get to choose the easier way, you get to live by the choices you make.

Dear stranger,

I missed you in the dark winter nights, when all I needed was your love. I felt the touch of your lips obsessively, hoping to revitalise me on the hot summer days. I loved you at your worst, and I remained loyal to an illusion of you being something else. In exchange, you left me hopeless in a dark cave, without any guidance of how this life would be without you. 

I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve been waiting years for a person that I thought I knew. What a naive I could have been. And yet, here you are…after all this time. It took me a while to figure you out.Our paths were never supposed to cross again,and I think I finally accepted that. Please, don’t make this harder than it is. Don’t call me in at your weaknesses, we both know that you will only throw the blame at me. Don’t ask me to be patient until you will sort it out..we both know this is not meant to be…we are not meant to be. I know you may not understand this, but it’s not you being on my place. It’s not you living with the ghosts of the past, trying to fake a recovery. It’s not you.

You are the one that comes and leaves,unseen,unknown. You’re like a shadow of my past, which keeps coming when the sun goes down in my life. If the intention is to rescue me, I don’t want to be rescued, because I can’t. Guess what? I am a grown up woman, which you taught not to depend on anyone but herself. Yes, you made me a stronger person, by not being there, when you were needed the most.

Regrettably, I dispose you from my life. It must be hard for you, to finally accept that. But as an advice, if I have been able to live the past years without you, so can you. You always posed as the strong one, the one that does not get hurt easily. So, I think you will handle it. And if you can’t, and regrets will hunt you in the middle of the night, if you will feel alone and useless, keep your head up, because life goes on. With or without me. I know how hard it must be, and I know your feelings will outrage, but this is just how life feels after being abandoned. You don’t get to choose the easier way, you get to live by the choices you make.

Someone you once hurt.

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