Whenever, Whatever.



Today started differently. I opened my eyes and all I could think about was you. To be honest, it does not surprise me anymore, but today was more…intense. Imagine you build up your plans and raise your expectations according to a person, you plan it step by step, and  suddenly it is all gone. What if they will never become a reality? What if you will never comeback?

I tried to call, but no answer, the tears started to flow on my red cheeks as a river, and I cannot help it. When it comes to you, I become a useless person, which cannot think about its own good, but yours.

Today I realised that some persons are supposed to remain in the past no matter on how much we would like to change that fact. I understood that it is impossible to convince a person of your own feelings if  their heart already belongs to someone else. In theory I should already be over you and start thinking about my new life. Maybe I should start planning on how to get used to waking up late in a Sunday morning and drink my coffee alone, in the same sofa were we used to make love in the Sunday mornings. Maybe I should start figure it how to leave you in the past, where you always belonged.

I hope you are very happy with the choices you have decided to live by.  I hope she will be a better lover than I used to be. A lover that supports you at your weaknesses and  encourages  you to become a better person, an updated version of yourself. More than  that, I hope  you will  think of me as a nice memory that fulfilled you at some point of your life. Because I cared about you more than anyone else, and somewhere in this world, I will always be there to help you whenever your dark passenger decides to come out. I’ve always been able to handle him, and I will always be there for you. Whenever, Whatever.




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