I loved you more than you thought and more than I ever wanted to admit it


If this is the last time you read something I write,what will I write about? Should I write about me or about you? Well, I would write about us.I don’t really know why, but this rainy day reminded me of you, one more time.   The person I left behind years ago, but seem to hold on to, with all the powers left.

I remember the days when I could trust your lies. The days when I actually believed how important I am in your life. Remembering all the moments when I acted like a child, hoping to feel even more protected and cared for by you.  This is what I remember the most, the urge of mattering to you.  Nobody in this world can keep a woman in his life if she is not feeling cared for. That’s how women work. We like all those sweet text messages we receive in the morning, when we are not sleeping beside you. And when we do, we like to be cuddled, we like to be cherished for what we are, at anytime…morning, noon, middle of night. We demand this, because we offer just the  same feelings.And when we don’t…know for sure that is the moment when we stopped loving you, the moment when we stopped caring.

Should I mention how sorry I am about how I abandoned you in the middle of nowhere? Practically speaking, we should have known that we could not  work  it out.  Even if we tried. And it took me years to notice this. Like you once said, we are different characters.  Don’t they say that opposites attract?

I could say  that I am thankful to you. Helping  me become who I am . Knowing what struggle is, and more importantly, knowing her worth.  Knowing what I deserve is more than you could have ever offered me. Even if, you could have at least prove some willingness and try . I have never been a strong person around you. Your eyes were always my weakness, and you were fully aware of this. You were the person that made me believe that I don’t deserve anyone better than you. What a lie that was. Now, years apart from you I met someone…someone who treats me at my highest value, some who appreciates my worth and respects me every step of the way. Someone who loves me at my highest value. This is what makes him different from you, this is what it makes him better than anyone else.

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